Hey everybody, welcome to Get to Know Your Wedding Pro. My name is Reid with Best Made Videos®. We are a wedding videography company based out of West Seattle, Washington, and I am joined today by one of my longtime friends, Lori Losee of Elegant Affairs. I want to thank you so much for coming in today, not only on the weekend, on a Seahawks game, driving up from Puyallup and, uh, a lot of things to make this happen. So thank you very much for coming in. Uh, why don't you introduce yourself and tell us who you are and what you do.
Well, great. Well thanks so much. Reid. Um, well again, my name is Lori Losee, I am the owner and the senior planner of Elegant Affairs. We're based down in Lakewood, Washington. I live in Puyallup and my associate planner, Lisa lives in Tacoma. Um, our extended team of interns, wedding day assistance, very all over, up and down puget sound. We actually started the company back in 2005. It was kind of a second career change for me. I was lucky enough I was a newspaper reporter in Gig harbor for about four and a half years and I went on maternity leave with my oldest who is going to be in high school next year. So I'm trying to like freaking out about that. We're about six months away from that. Um, and I knew I wasn't going to go back to work. We had just moved from Tacoma to Puyallup and my husband was like, so what do you want to do with your new found freedom?
And I said, well, I don't know. And he was like, well, how many parties, weddings have you planned for friends, family, sorority sisters over the years for free? And I said a lot because that was kind of my gift to my friends. Like, Hey, I'll kind of help you do your weddings and just kind of be your day up kind of person to just help manage the flow of the day. Because I had a day, a planner when I got married in 2003. And so he's like, well, I think you can kind of make a goal out of this. And literally overnight I came up with the name, my logo in my head and three days later I had my first client who will actually be celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary in two weeks. So it was actually at my husband's coworker, so it was, it was really nice to kind of see that progression.
They met in June, got engaged in September, got married in December, so. And the bride was also living up in Alaska up until about six weeks before the wedding. So I really got to see the whole gamut, planning the wedding and basically being the bride because the bride was. I have no idea. I've never, I've only been to Seattle three or four times. I have no idea. The groom was like, you just, you run with it and this is your show. And I'm like, okay, this. And then right after that I kind of caught the bug and we've just progressed and to where we are today. And it's just, it's amazing to look back where you first start to where you're at now and you're like, wow, we're still here. And we still love what we do.
Yeah, it's crazy. I, uh, I'm filming the nutcracker this weekend for this dance, a true value is and like I've been doing that for years and it's just like, just weird to be like in that world and like know these people, you just would never, I would never go watch this thing and hang out and kind of gets me all these kids and the artistic director and all the services kind of funny to see like where our past lead this. Um, so we met a years ago now, uh, and legendary styled shoot a and that was amazing at new castle. Talk about that,
that, you know, that was actually one of my first stylesheets and basically what a style sheet is, is that you collaborate with an amazing team of wedding professionals and you kind of recreate a wedding. So we had a bride and groom and we had an amazing Flores photographer. Obviously we had raid doing videography, we had bridal store, we had everybody, we had Seattle farm tables come out and we just recreated a wedding in February. It was cold, but we had to make it seem like it was warm, but it was a really fun experience and it's you kind of break out of your box and do something maybe that you've been wanting your couples to do, but maybe you haven't hit that niche with that couple. So that's kind of the purpose why I do these editorial styled shoots just because I can kind of put my stamp on something. And so a couple that like, oh, that was a really cool, like how can we recreate that are like, oh, I didn't think about putting, you know, this kind of decor on a table or how do you style that and kind of really branches you out. And it, to me, it's just kind of that fun part of my job.
Yeah, it's funny. I remember. Yeah, I had never done one. I'd never done video for one. And I know it's not a typical always to have a videographer all the time out of them. And I just remember, um, it was really fun. The funniest side now that that was just with the models who were like, the guy was ridiculously handsome. I remember like Shawn's great. I've actually done a couple of sheets with him. Yeah, yeah. Is Awesome. I remember like, it was funny though because I was trying to get like pose them and when it's like a couple and you're like, okay, like kiss her now or make out and you're like, well with the models we need to be a little bit more like, oh, like snuggle her or like put your hand on your eye, you know, keep it a little more pc.
Well especially since she was still in high school even though she looked like she was like 25 and I asked because, no, I'm 18, I'm a senior in high school and I'm like, you blew me away. So. And I think that's kind of the one challenge is that when you do those style sheets and you're working with models to have that chemistry. So we kind of go on this, the adage now if possible to have real life couples because then you can ask them like, okay, nuzzle in Tim, give him a kiss because sometimes when you work with the models, you know, they're like, okay, I'm here to kind of either showcase the attire, do this, but to kind of have all of a sudden like, okay, be romantic, pretend that you guys are married or you're getting married. There's kind of that disconnect right there. But for most part they do a great job. But I think I like having those real couples because then you kind of have best of both worlds kind of coming together.
Uh, yeah. So just on the topic of a shoot because you guys do a lot of weddings and try it. I think either kind of the. I think the common belief is like, you know, like if a, if a photographer doesn't have any portfolio work, like I'm going do a skylight shoe to like get some. So yeah. So why do you continue to do amen. And feature that because you guys obviously work a lot. Like what is the mindset behind that? Well,
I really loved doing the style sheets, especially when we're in the off season, just because again, you can do those creative things where, oh, I really want to push our design focus. I really want to push this part of our business out and maybe we haven't had that opportunity with our clients during that season or at this point. So I feel like with the stylized shoots it's also great because you're going to work with maybe photographers or vendors that you haven't worked with, but you're like, oh, this is the perfect opportunity to kind of see, oh, would they be a good fit for future clients? And we also get direct messages on instagram primarily from, from new photographers saying, Hey, I've seen your work. I would love to collaborate, would love to kind of get into your book of business. And I think that's kind of where the relationship started and some of our vendors that we never got to do a wedding with when they've reached out to us.
Now you're for him all the time because we have a great preferred vendor list and I tell my clients like, you don't have to go with anybody on that list, but it's a great starting point. Instead of trying to google like Seattle wedding videographer and three meal and people are gonna show up and great. There's reviews and there's their portfolio, but sometimes you need to have that one on one. Say, okay, I love working with reed because he does x, Y and Z and that by doing a styled shoot with somebody saying, okay, I've really seen them in person outside of a wedding shoot and Kinda can interact with them and saying, okay, I like his style because of this or I like working with him because of that. So I think the style sheets are great because I, again, I see a different aspect and then I can bring that into my clients and then into future projects and thinking, okay, I know I want to do this later on. How can I use the vendors I've already worked with in the past and bring them on board.
Yeah, because I get asked a lot, you know, from a, from photographers are planning, there's lots of people like, oh, how is that person to work with or how is this other person to work with? Because you do like, you meet a lot of people and you meet a lot of people and networking events or out in the ballot and like this ally shoot. Yeah. It's like know not close to the wedding, but it's as close to a wedding this you can kind of manufacturer to kind of get that working relationship and kind of see that. Uh, so talk about kind of your start here. Uh, you said you were a newspaper reporter. Harbor. So do you go to school for that or how did that start that?
Yeah, I actually went to Washington State University. Go cougs and uh, how did that work out? Uh, you know, why we're an air raid offense and when he can't play in snow. But. No, no, no, because he says we had a great, we had a great season. I see you laughing, but you know, I, I love my kids and when you're cool, you're a diehard Kook and my kids have grown up. They've known the cougar fights on, they know that they go to the other school that we will not mention, um, they will be paying their own tuition. Uh, but yeah, so I graduated with a Ba in journalism, worked at the newspaper and that was great because it kind of, I did a lot of meeting different people and kind of organizing things. So it really kind of lent itself into event planning and plus through my sorority through different, um, the Greek council, different university events that I helped put on. I did a lot of internships through the university and that just kind of went everything together. So kind of, I feel like, you know, there there's the great certifications programs, but for me it's all about experience. You can, you know, whether you have five weddings, are you your wedding planning and you haven't even gotten married or you've done 100 different weddings. You're going to see a variety of experiences and interactions with couples and vendors. And so it just, it again, it's that experience. To me that's the most valuable
tool. Yeah. What was it about the journalism? Because I would say that's probably not a highly sought after degree. I mean, I've, I've a broadcast degree. There was a seven people that graduated with me in my program from Gonzaga, which is not as big as school. But um, what was it about that, that kind of drew you, drew your interest?
Well, I'm also, you know, I've been out of school a few years and so newspapers back then were huge. And so, you know, obviously being a graduate of the School of communication is, is huge. It's if you are in part of the communication kind of world, you knew who he was, you know, what the reputation, especially the Wsu, Wsu, school of Communication has. Um, I didn't want to go to the broadcasting aspect. I always have loved writing. Um, even when I was little, I'd write my own little books. So going into that and then, you know, sadly over the years, newspapers that have either folded or combined, um, and I knew it was in a longterm career as opposed to like working for newspapers. So I always knew I could freelance for magazines, newspapers, different publications. So I've done that. I've now graduated 17 years ago from Wsu and so I've continually done that. Um, right now I'm working with, um, the south sound wedding magazine. I'm a good friend of mine named Dean who is the new owner of the magazine. She's given me the opportunity to do a couple different special projects for the magazine with. So I'm really excited for her first issue that comes out in January.
That's funny. Uh, it reminded me, uh, the Edward r murrow school because they also have a good broadcast program. And so it's excellent. It's like, you know, top top of the line and um, you know, God's Sega isn't necessarily known for broadcasting. I mean, I think they do a good job. But um, it was funny when I was working in [inaudible], we would go get a lot of insurance in the summer from Wsu and they go, oh, like, well where did you go to school? Like, I went to the school.
Oh, you always have to drop that.
Why don't, I don't know. I said I got, you know, seven people graduated with me and that we're all working all across the country. So I don't, I mean, I know it's not Gonzaga, whatever, a broadcast school by that I feel like we did okay. But now it is, like that'd be a seen as just in general, I mean across the board that stellar education, but especially kind of the communications and the broadcasts and all that. Um, so, uh, your, your reporter now, what was that, what was that experience like? I mean, I kind of have mixed thoughts of my time is uh, you know, it's kind of a journalist or whatever, kind of like a beat go in there and covered. So did you enjoy that? Did you enjoy meeting people?
You know, there were some aspects of my job where I didn't like. And there were some that I, I really liked. Um, I started out as an education reporter for the school district, which was great. Um, I love, I love kids. Obviously I have two boys, but when you go to an opening of a school student store, like you're, it is like, Oh hey, like this is fun. It's great. And you take pictures and you interact with teachers and educators. But really my probably fun experience is I got to be the police reporter for about a year. And I loved it. I made friends with all the Gig harbor police department. We had the de Pierce County sheriffs attachment out out there. So it was great. I love doing that. I loved, especially when I was super pregnant with grant and I get a call from the lieutenant saying, Hey, we're going on a drug busts, you want to go with me?
So literally he picks me up. I'm about six weeks from giving birth. He's like, okay, well you can't go inside the house because there's a lot of things that will probably not be good for you or the baby. And so I'm just standing outside with my camera and my little notepad, my little recorder and you know, he's telling me stuff from, you know, inside the house, like this is what's going on. And so to me I liked it where it was something you didn't know what was gonna happen that day and, and you know, we had a tragedy that happened in, in Gig harbor and unfortunately I wasn't there that day to, to cover that. But I think, you know, as a criminal justice and political science, double minor, I love the court system. I loved covering a couple when we'd get a big case in Gig harbor, like I got to go into Tacoma and go sit on a trial and see that perspective.
So I just, I liked that. I liked the hard news. We didn't always get it all the time so it was kind of a nice, nice break from covering the schools and. But again it was those relationships that we formed. Coincidentally my actual day of wedding planner was, I met her because she was one of the school board members. So it's just, you never know when her daughter ended up being my candle lighter and her daughter is now, she got married about a year ago, so it's kind of like full full circle, how, you know, you're like, oh my little candle lighter now she's married and she's has her master's degree and you know, it's funny because facebook kind of brings you all back to everything and people that you don't have necessarily those interpersonal relationships right now that you can kind of bridge the gap from Wsu, high school, even elementary school that you've reconnected through social media.
Yeah. Because you're big into like the sorority and all that. I mean, my wife, I didn't have any interest in so I go for better or worse, kind of like missed out on all of that. But you're, you're big into that. I mean we talk about that.
Oh yeah. So, um, I am a member of Alpha Phi sorority. Um, and so once I graduated I kind of was looking at the opportunity like, okay, how can I keep that commitment? Um, and we always say, you know, I'll fees not just for four years, it's for a lifetime. And so, um, luckily that was Kinda my one introductions to kind of getting back into volunteering and giving back to what the organization has given me was through volunteering. So I've been an advisor, basically every single campus at Alpha has been on in Washington and we have five or six chapters. Was advisor for a long time at university puget sound in Tacoma, Washington State University. And I was on a couple different teams and uh, coincidentally a lot of my interns have been alpha fees either from Wsu, you dab ups. I've even had at estates, um, interns that have moved over here just to intern for me for the summer. And so my husband always jokes, he goes, now I see why you volunteer, you don't get paid. But now all the Alfie weddings that you have done. So this year alone we did four album for weddings and next year we will have three. We have three as of right now for 2019. So I would say a large part of our business now has been either just alpha fee or other Greek chapters that I've met through different channels or referral based. So it all gives back in the end.
That was awesome. I had a tutor for two years. I did the recruitment video for a Delta Zeta at you that know. Yeah. And as someone that had never stepped foot in a fraternity or Sorority, pretty experienced, it was wild because I like, I had no idea and I was, you know, Dorothy was really excited about it because, you know, she lived in that and she's telling me what he paid and I was like, man, he was a wild. But I mean I, uh, a good portion of Dorothy's friends are still from that and you know, a of her people at her wedding and then they did the song and it's a lifelong. It's not what does it, not just for 40 years, it's a lifetime. Uh, so you said that when you got married to someone you had met while working as a, as a reporter, how plan your wedding, talking about your wedding, what was that experience like?
It was really fun. We got engaged on New Year's Eve, so we were the traditional like, oh, we're going to get engaged over the holidays. He surprised me. Um, I had been thinking once I graduated from Wsu, we went to Maui for for 10 days. I'm thinking every single day we were there I'm like, I'm going to get proposed to you. Like, made sure I had my makeup or my hair done. I don't know why, because, you know, cell phone cameras did not exist back then. And so. And then when it did not happen, it was kind of a let down and you know, Lo and behold, he, I don't do surprises. And so he was like, this was going to be the one thing that I wanted to surprise you with didn't happen on Christmas. And I'm thinking, okay, we've been together for five years. We've had friends that have been together way less that are already married.
And so we had friends over at our, um, at his apartment on new years and you know, he dropped my, rang in a bottle or a glass of champagne and wasn't paying attention and I almost drank it and all of a sudden you hear this gas from the two ladies that were there and I looked down and there is the Rei. And so we got engaged in. I knew we were the first, both the first kids and grandkids to get married. And so I knew that there was no way I could plan a big Catholic wedding because, you know, we had to do the big Catholic ceremony, um, for, you know, 250 of our closest friends and family. So, uh, we actually held off and did it for the summer of 2003. So we actually were engaged for 18 months, which is kind of, if you have a.
most of my couples now are not engaged that long. I've had, I would say less than 10 percent are engaged or more than a year. So it was nice because we were able to lock in all like the 2002 prices and we also got married on a Friday because we knew with our friends, especially that with the Catholic church at a specialist specifically at mine and fragile way. You either got married it to where you got married at eight. Well if we got married in two, I don't think people would last past six or 7:00. Got Married at eight. Realistically you're not even eating till 10:00. So luckily I'm the priest I grew up with. He was like, I go, can we get married on a Friday? He's like, well I've never done a Friday wedding guests. We can think about it. So we got married the first Friday of June and it was 95 degrees that day.
And the one thing my husband wanted was he wanted to stretch expedition. Well, when you get married on the hottest day of the year and you have about 30 people in a stretch expedition with no air conditioning, let me tell you how fun of experience that is. And I will never let them down that same. Yeah, that's the one thing you wanted. And that didn't work, but I think too, it's, you know, I really got to see the whole planning side and that was the, that was the best thing about it. That working with vendors really kind of interacting and seeing what we needed and having our day of coordinator there kind of helping guide the process was, was great.
So why don't, you know, what were the biggest lessons that you learned from doing going through the wedding process yourself? I mean, is there anything now that you like continue on that you learned that day or were like what was important or not important or. Oh, one thing I always stress to all my kids, my clients
is get everything in writing. Nothing is a verbal contract. And that's the biggest piece of advice I tell people is make sure you have notation somewhere, whether it's jotted in your contract. If you do an amendment, make sure it's in an email because over the last 13 years of our company, you have vendors that have really great intentions and say, Oh yeah, they promise you something, and then when they don't deliver, granted it's a very. It's a very rare thing when that happens, but again, when I come to a wedding, I have basically a notebook of all the contracts, everything and have everything on my phone so I can pull up and say, oh no, you said you were going to do x, y, and Z. I don't want to have my bride walk in and saying, okay, what just happened? My flowers are supposed to be all white and they're now all pink, or we've had a cake that was supposed to be all pink that showed up white.
So it's those things that you hold both your client responsible and also your vendors responsible because we're. It's all a team collaborative effort that we're all. At the end of the day, we want to a great wedding. We want great memories. We want our clients to be happy and their family and friends to really have enjoyed the wedding without having to work it. So that's Kinda what we stress to our clients is that, you know, yes this is this, this can be a stressful process, but if you take it one step at a time, but you also have to be smart and all your decisions and things that you say and again that's where it gets back to make sure you have everything in writing.
Yeah. And I think that that's helpful know for the couple, but then also like for the vendors, right? I mean like sometimes like I'll be talking with someone about something and I'll be like, yeah, you got to remind me. Or like we'll do it. But you mean it's, it's helpful for everybody. I think they have that other writing just to kind of hold the kids it, it might not be an intentional like, uh, I just forgot. Or you know, some of that got overlooked. Right?
Exactly. Or, you know, a vendor could have a conversation with a client and the client says, oh, I really like this and you know, you might take note of it, or you didn't think like, oh, they actually, they wanted to amend their package that they have selected with you and then, you know, you turn around and give them the complete package, which was contract, you know, according to the contract, we got everything this done like, oh, but you said you were going to do this. And so I think it just, again, it goes, it goes both ways and so you want to have that great working relationship with everybody because at the end of the day, yeah, my end of my client's contract is done, but it still continues because, you know, majority of our business is all referral based. But then I also get referrals from vendors too. So it's keeping everybody happy and again, working towards that common goal and we want to have a very great wedding that in the end it's going to continue to produce more business in the long run.
Yeah. It's funny because uh, you know, and I'm terrible with memory sometimes, but it's funny how like sometimes you'll have immediately with like a couple, like a year, year and a half hour and like they'll be like a photographic memory of like every single, like where the fuck and you're like, I like, I can't hardly remember your face except that we're friends on facebook and what you look like. I mean we've emailed a lot but like I don't remember but like you know, but it is like you want to make sure and then it's a certain expectations. Seven and that's my biggest thing is like, you know, making sure like people kind of can see the side and see everything's like they know what they're going to get and what they're not going to get because that's all you want ultimately is like people to be happy with the product and whether you know this flower company or a different flower company. Like you just want people to be like happy. Right?
Yeah. Well, and I think for, for our sake is I want to have great photos and I want to have great video clips that I can use for our portfolio show on our website and if you know, if another couple is getting married at the same venue, I'm like, okay, this is what we did here. Is there anything that you like or is anything you want to change differently or something that you want to continue? Like, Oh, I love how they did the setup or I love what the staff did on this. So I think again, it all comes full circle with that, but you've. Everybody has to be on the same page. So I knew. I've always known growing up I take copious amounts of notes sometimes too many now. It's like even just the littlest things like groom only likes Diet Pepsi that I knew that when the venue, all they had was diet coke.
I sent my assistant, I said, here's 10 bucks. Get me all the Diet Pepsi you can get because he does not like diet coke. That is a true story. And he was so excited because he was like, he saw everybody with diet coke and he goes, oh, I only like Diet Pepsi and like look at your table. And then it just to see. I mean, and he was an older group and just the one thing he goes, it was that small thing, the small detail that I didn't even think that he even remembered that you took note on. Can we be honest? So who likes that Pepsi? Well, I don't like Diet Pepsi or even Diet Soda Anyway. So, but I mean you get when you have a group or a bride that is very, like, this is the one thing in life I need or the new, if it's a dietary issue, um, I actually had a bride that heavily celiac and like to the point that I had to have a specific mouthwash for her that she needed to rinse out or had her girlfriends out so they can even kiss because certain kinds of beer with would cause her to have a massive migraine.
So like I had in my little fanny pack, I had all of her mouth washes. And, you know, would we give it off to the groom? But it's, it seems like that you need to remember, um, if it's not a medical thing, but just even just a small like, oh, I really like Diet Pepsi. So it's, it's, it's one of those things that we really take our pride is in. It's those details that we can say, hey, we have you, when you don't think maybe we're listening or we've taken notes on this, were there, that's always say like for weddings, you know, where there, you may not see us because we're kind of like blend in the background with our black dresses. But you know, that we have your back and you know, that we're going to be the first ones that have, you know, if something goes wrong or if you need us, we're going to be right there before you even like, oh wait, where's Lori? Where's Lisa? Oh wait, they're standing right next to me, ready to anything that they need. We have for them.
Um, so, so you're, you're, you're married, now you're working with as a, as a reporter, right? So then you start having kids, so they talk about the kind of transitioning out into, you know, doing the wedding planning.
Well literally it was, I went back to work after six months off maternity leave, went back to for work for six weeks. I'm just long enough I'd have to pay my healthcare. And then I knew I was transitioning out of that kind of lined up a lot of freelance gigs that would kind of kind of help fund extra money. Um, and then kind of writing gigs, writing gigs. I had a couple different newspapers. I was, I was also still freelancing for my old paper, the paper and puyallup since we are now in Puyallup. And a couple other like parent magazines. I was doing little jobs for a. But having a newborn and trying to work and trying to find that balance was really tough. And so it was nice that I could have those little things. Oh, I have like one project every week. I didn't want to like overwhelm myself.
And then once we started kind of thinking, okay, well is this something I really want to continue or do I want to continue with seeing if this wedding planning job that was supposed to be like, Oh, a fun summer job that has now turned into full time and then some and then staff. So it's, it's one of those things, it's, you never know like what I have thought when I went to Debbie issue back in the day that I would have owned my own business, you know, 20 some years later, know what I, what I do. Anything different. No, I think there's a reason why things happen. You may not see it until years later. You're like, okay, well my degree in communications is leads me to a perfect entryway into event planning. Um, because communication is the biggest part of our job. If there's no communication, whether it's with clients, vendors, family, anything. You don't have a job and you don't have a career.
Was it a, was it scary kind of launching the business? Like you said your husband was kind of helping support you saying like, you know, whatever. Like, what do you, what do you think you want to do? I mean, was that, did you have like any, like history of anybody you knew that Dennis
and back then, I mean when the wedding planner with Jennifer Lopez came out my senior year, I'm like, Oh, you know, that's like a cool thing to do. Never thought in my wildest dreams would I ever owned my own business, let alone be a wedding planner owning her own business. So, you know, the first couple of years were definitely, I would say a struggle, um, with kids and like when somebody would call like, oh, like can I meet you? Like in 30 minutes. I'm like, okay, well I live in Puyallup, so just to get to Seattle you're an hour away and it's not like I could just like leave my kid at home and um, or take, you know, take him with me. And so you kind of go through those growing pains the first couple of years and kind of figuring out what that balance is, knowing what your priorities in your.
Obviously families are first and foremost our biggest priority. And it's always been in, it's kind of, it's kind of a struggle though because you're, you want to do what you love and I'm very passionate and I'm a workaholic, but you know, as my boys are older and they're both in middle school and they've got their own social lives and sports schedules kind of dominate our life and it's, it's, I don't want to take my time away from that. But I also need something that fulfills me and what, what gives me joy besides my family and so and as crazy as this, this industry sometimes is. I think I thrive on the craziness and I, and I love it because not every day is a typical eight to five. You know, there are some days where like, okay, I'm working on social media, I'm working on our website and working on blogging.
I'm working on our online workbook two days where I am in Seattle all day with client meetings, vendor appointments. And so it's just kind of finding that nice balance where I can do everything I want without feeling overwhelmed or feeling like I'm letting either my company down or letting my family down. So I think, and again, it's one of those things where you have to continually look back on yourself and say, okay, what do I need to change in my personal life versus my professional life? So everything blends together because if you don't have a cohesive relationship, something's going to suffer. And so it, it's, again, it's one of those I struggle with it, but I feel like I'm in a great place now where, um, you know, my oldest will be 14 in January and he's like, I'm so excited when I'm 16, I'm going to come help you.
And I'm like, okay, I don't know how that looks, but I think they see my excitement. And I think too, is I, when I'm planning out my summer schedule, it's not every single weekend I have weddings because if I do that a, I get burnt out and I'm not giving my clients or my vendors the attention that they need. So by taking little breaks here or there throughout the season is huge and I feel like right now as we end the season with two weddings left, it's been great. There's no burn out. I'm excited for the end of this year. I'm excited for 2019 and what it all has in store for all of us. So it's just, it's constantly planning ahead and looking forward and, and, and finding that balance.
Yeah, I think it has to be incredibly hard to like maintain that, you know, like Dorothy and I don't have kids yet. I'm like, I always like have so much respect for like a, you know, entrepreneurs and especially like wedding vendors, like have kids and families and like trying to balance that. And especially like a plan there were like, I think there's a lot more that goes into it then even like people realize besides like the emailing assembled like going the light check out new venues isn't going to meet new rental companies have things. So like I see all you guys online, like always like oh I gotta go check this out or go going here, go in there. And like, it's crazy. Um, do you, is it, do you feel like you now have that good balance or is it still something that like you work on it because I think people could learn from that, you know, like how the hell to make that balance?
Well, you know, I think I'm really lucky at this point that my boys are old enough that I'm not relying on babysitters. Nannies that, you know, with their lives that they can be home afterschool, they don't have to rush home and be home right at 2:00 because I mean, you know, this is a wedding professional. We don't have eight to five schedules. It's, we can have a meeting at 8:00 AM, we can have a meeting at 7:00 PM. So it's working with your clients and their busy schedules and saying, okay, well maybe I can meet during lunchtime. You have, you know, you have me for 60 minutes or I could only meet on the weekends or it can only meet up in Redmond at 6:00. And so again, it's when I know I'm in Puyallup and you know, our traffic is just super lovely and you never know what to expect.
And so I always have to give my myself a cushion, hence why I was early today. Could you just never know, especially with the seahawks game. But it's, it's great because I love one vendors, you know, reach out like, Hey, I want you to go check out our new linen line. I want you to come check out our new rentals. Hey, we have a new venue opening up that's huge right now is I can't tell you how many calls and emails I get on a daily basis. Especially now saying, Oh yeah, we're just opening a venue or hey, can you consult with us? We're looking to maybe turn in our personal home property into a venue. Can you consult with us and say, Hey, what do we need to work with in terms of with the county? What is a wedding planner? If you want to refer our our property, how, what do we need to do to enhance its beauty and enhance its kind of marketability to potential clients.
And so that's kind of a fun thing that I've just started doing the last two or three years and um, and kind of seeing that aspect, saying, okay, if I had, if I could create the perfect wedding venue, what, what I want into it. And so that's what I want. I go into these consults with these potential vendors. I say, Hey, these are what my clients want. They need x, Y, and Z in a, in a venue to be exciting, something new because you have all these great venues popping up left and right. And it's sometimes overwhelming for clients because they're like, there's too much out there. How do I narrow it down? Do I want to get married in the south side? Do I want to get married in the Greater Seattle area? Do I want to get married up in snohomish? Do I want to do a destination wedding?
So it's breaking it down where geographically where you want to go and saying, okay, here's a great venue because of this. So I think it's, you know, getting back to your question is it's exciting because there's so many different avenues going on that again, it's not a typical day anymore. So, and there are some days where I'm just in my office or I'm working from home and I love it. I can sit and do emails while folding laundry or I can be added in my office and concentrating and getting things done for my clients or having clients come into the office.
Yeah, I love, I love working at home today is my favorite kind of day. Uh, I just, uh, related to the whole a steady that blight properties and stuff to be venues like,
I don't know, I always feel like a 90 percent of the people that are thinking that they're going to do that, like don't realize how much work goes into that. I don't know. What's your thought on that?
Oh yeah. I mean, I have my checklist that I go through it before I've been go out to look at the venue saying, have you been contacted the county? Because that's my first red flag question. If they said, no, we haven't even, I didn't even know we had even contact the county. Then I've learned my lesson over the couple years that I just say, okay, well you need to go check out the county first to see a. are you even zoned? Even have this, have even talked to your neighbors because unless you were a property where there's nobody within a stone's throw from you, your neighbors are not going to be happy that you're going to start having three to 400 people every single weekend coming down your street and there's no parking in their parking on the street. So the county question is always big and then sometimes they just don't think about the little things.
Um, I consulted with a venue last year and saying, okay, what are your bathroom facilities? Oh, we have an in, we have a bathroom inside our house. Okay. Do you want somebody to come in and use your one bathroom stall and you know, they could have 150 people at the wedding or do you want to provide bathrooms or just say blanket statement you'll need to bring in, you know, Porta potties of, of some sore. So I think sometimes like, Oh yeah, I've got this great house, but they don't think of it as of like what all goes into that. So again, it's, it's my checklist, but usually it's the county question that they haven't looked into that. And I'm like knowing owning of a wedding venue is a whole different pot of problems that if you are really serious about it you need to go through and do it right because you don't want to be that venue.
And I've dealt with this before because we had this happen about five or six years ago in Pierce county where I'm from, that these venues would just pop up like, oh, I have a great barn and the county would find out about it or most likely the neighbors saying noise ordinance and the venue would get shut down. One of my first weddings a couple of years ago, they had a family friend who had this amazing property. It was great. It was fantastic. We'll. They had done three weddings at that summer and the week of the wedding, the county shut them down and we. I mean we, I came to tell you how many times I was on the phone and I said, look, like I went over everything, like a, b and c and like, nope, that's not going to happen. And it was because all the neighbors complained because there was no, there was no infrastructure setup about like, Oh yeah, the noise ordinance is 10:00 and music has to be turned off or you have to accommodate for.
You can't have streets, private streets lined with cars, both sides. And when citizens try to go park on their own street and they can't because the neighbor's having a party and it's. But for profit, that's the issue that you're getting into. So. And that's why I say to, if you want to have a, a venue, please go through the proper channels because at the end of the day, you don't want your venue getting shut down and having to tell your bride and groom, sorry, our venue got shut down. You're getting married in three days to funny tidbit stories. One was, one of my consults is Sharon, I can't remember
which one. It was a couple. And they said, oh, you know, like we're going to get married in San Fernando
years from now our goal will be like, we're going to buy a property and like having a wedding venue. And I was like, let's get through your year by the and first before we, uh, about 10 steps forward. Now. The other one about the noise ordinance was, uh, one of my favorite weddings have last, I guess it was two summers ago now, was over digital sellers. And they, like all the Woodville ones, like I have pretty strict noise ordinances. Like, especially like the little. And um, it was on a Monday because a lot of the family was from Scotland and England. And like a kilt and all that kind of stuff. And so it didn't really matter what day of the week wedding was because everyone was traveling in. And so I think on like a weekday there, I think it's like nine, nine or 10.
It's like a hard, you know, hard out, you can't, you can't change it. Yeah. And so we're like, we're like getting ready to pack up and one of the, like the Gruden or something outside, uh, this is well past now, like playing the bagpipes like drunk and like in the driveway and like, they're like, no, it goes right there as you're on the driveway. It echoes down into the valley and they just, you have just thought, you know, I dunno, something bad like a bomb was about to go off. I mean they were, it was funny. I, that was a kick. Um, so when you, when you were starting your company, um, did you have a vision for how you want it to be different or like what you wanted to focus on or like what was your, you know, besides like one when the plan weddings, it's like what, what did you want to be like, your know differentiation or your calling card?
Think it's the one true fact that we've continued the last 13 years is I think it's the, our personality and our dedication to our clients and that I'm, the one thing we, I put together about three years ago is that either myself or my associate planner, we won't do more than one wedding per weekend. And I think it's that attention to detail that we can tell our clients. Like, you don't need to worry that if we can't make your rehearsal because we're having to do the rehearsal for somebody else's wedding. Because I'm a lot of couples now. There's not a traditional Saturday. You're getting married. We've done literally every single day of the week. And so a lot of these venues now, the only time you can do rehearsals on a Wednesday or Thursday and so, um, I think it's that attention and that we can tell our clients like, Hey, our focus for you that week and that weekend leading up to your wedding, it's all about you.
You don't need to worry about us focusing on, you know, another client or two that weekend. And we get so bogged down. And I think that was another reason why too. I kinda got a little burnt out as you know, there will be some weekends, I would have Friday, Saturday, Sunday wedding and then I would go right back out to it. And so, so starting the company, you know, I really had no expectations because again, I thought this was a fun summer job. I do like five or six weddings. And then in our first full time wedding season, you know, I did 15 and I'm thinking, okay, that's a lot. The next year I did 25 and I'm like okay. And then the next raid of 27 and I'm like, okay, I need to set, I need to set a hard and fast rule that, you know, a, I'm only gonna do one wedding per weekend and I'm only going to take a certain amount because again, I want to give my, my bride and grooms all my best and I don't want them to feel like they're kind of being put on the backburner whether they have our smaller package or they have our larger package that everybody feels like they're treated the exact same.
Um, we give her 100, 10 percent. All of our clients, whether they hire a six weeks before their wedding or they hire us two and a half years before their wedding. And so I feel like now I can say most of our clients now that we get our referral based, we do all the wedding shows and we, and we still do a couple here or there are, we know we do a lot of venue, open houses and vendor open houses. But when you don't have to really sell what you do because either they were a bridesmaid in your wedding or they were a wedding guest or their mom was a guest at the wedding. Those are the. The best things you could ever receive intern is that somebody trusted you because they saw you at another wedding that there's not even a question like, oh yeah, we're going to hire Lori at Elegant Affairs.
Like, I mean it's, it's funny that I hear these people like, Oh yeah, I knew when I was. When I got engaged, the first thing I needed to do was call Lori and that's probably the most humbling things ever. And seeing the client response and the client testimonials after you're like, you know, whether you have a small impact on their wedding or you've been working with them for two years, that you're literally talking every single day and the impact that you have and the continued friendship you have with those clients. And then you see them have babies and then you follow up with there and you do their kids' parties and you're like, you know, it, it, it's, comes full circle. And I love it just makes what I do. So joyful. And I love, I love what I do. And I, I think it's because it's because of our couples that makes me want to continue to do this for the, you know, for a very long time.
Uh, it's funny speaking about, you know, attention to detail. Uh, and not that they're, at least under the bus, we had a good way. Uh, we, I had a wedding with her in May and I think it was like January and she emailed me like, Hey, read, like I just wanted to check in and see a, you know, like um, the plan there for Matt and Kim Lee and you know, just kind of wanted to see what you needed for me. And I was like floored because like there's weddings like that we do that like I or like my other team will do. Like there was a, there was one the summer that my other team did because Dorothy and I were out of town and I didn't even realize they had a planner because I had never like gotten into you can, you know, nothing.
Like I think I saw in one of their things like oh here's our who's the best day of contact for the day? And it was a planning company and I was so like excited that like be like, I was like, oh my gosh, like this is like five months out and this is crazy. But it spoke to like condensed, like how on top of everything she was right to like, but, you know, but that is that like where you, uh, you know, try to limit a little bit of the numbers to be able to do that kind of stuff and like be able to like really like have a conversation. Like for me, it's super helpful to be able to have that ongoing communication.
Well, and I mean I've got to brag, I mean Lisa, just if you thought I was organized like that girl, like she were doing our year end meeting this upcoming Thursday and you know, she just blows me away. Like she goes, Oh yeah, I've already done this and this like I'm already. And I'm like, you know, she came into my life at a time where I didn't know where we were going. My other associate planner had just moved down to Texas with her husband and so we're kind of like, am I going to be back to being a one woman show or am I going to bring on new staff? And so when I said, hey, I'm looking for new staff, she was literally within like an hour of me posting. She had her resume, she had her cover life because when can I come in and meet you? And she met me at our old office in Tacoma and I just, I was blown away.
I think just her personality. She comes at it with. She did wedding planning before she worked for me. She was a florist for a long time. So she kind of, I saw that she had all these just positive attributes. I'm like, why would I not bring her on? I'm like, so I don't even think we got halfway through it and around like, um, can you just start now? She goes, wait, what? I go, yeah, like, and so it was just. And it's great because, you know, she has two young kids and she's lives about 10 minutes from me and she's just one of those people where, you know, you can count on her. There's never an issue where I'm ever concerned that she's not on top of it. She's always three steps ahead of me where if you know, how I operate to be three steps ahead of me is pretty impossible. But somehow that woman does it and I am so blessed to have her on our team and just hearing their response back from clients and vendors like you that work with her and it's just like, how did I get so lucky for her to want to work on my team?
Yeah. Talk about that. Just kind of the idea of like expanding in, in having these people that are under you, but also kind of like, you know, like obviously they're their own planner but they represent you and kind of your vision then like is that, was that scary? Is that something that obviously leads to like impress you a lot, but just that idea of like kind of, you know, building that expansion of yourself?
Yeah, I mean when I first started it was literally just me and I would work for 15 hours, 16 hours a day and I'm like, how, how am I doing this by myself? And so, um, luckily I was still advising a Alpha chapter at University of puget sound and I just said, hey, if anybody's interested like this summer if you want to intern for me and this wonderful woman named Lily's, like I would love to, I'm going to be in Tacoma all summer. And I'm like, great. So she was my first intern and I kind of, you know, it was great. Like she was there anytime I needed anything. And coincidentally, I'm going to be meeting with her this week to talk about her 20 slash 20 wedding. Um, and so it was kind of that organic growth. Um, Rachel who used to want to be my, one of my associate planners, um, she started as, I was her advisor at Wsu and she interned for me, then became my wedding day assistant.
Then she was working as a nanny and Seattle. And she's like, well, I want to do more of this wedding thing. So I'm like, okay, so let's bring you on as a planner. And then started small three, five to 15 weddings per summer. And you know, it was really sad when, you know, when she moved. But, you know, when the army calls and you really can't say no. Um, so, and over the years I've had other associate planners. I've had tons of wedding day assistance, dozens of interns, and it's one of those things. It's, it's a, it really takes a village. It's just not me or it's just not lisa and event typically leases my goto wedding assistant. Um, just because she gets me in again, she anticipates my next move before I even make it or even before I think I'm going to make it so that that's what to me makes a good collaborative effort.
Um, and so, you know, we kind of go in waves like are we going to bring on more people, are we gonna are we content where we're at? And I think kind of the industry will dictate if and when we're going to expand. But I think right now we're good with, you know, Lisa and I and I've got an amazing team of assistants for 2019 that have kind of gone through, um, the intern stage two wedding assistant to some have even done weddings um, with me. And so it's just kind of saying we're seeing where the wind takes us.
It's tough because we're in a little bit of a rebuilding phase now too, just in terms of shuffling around a little bit. And it's, it's tough because it's, it's a lot easier like just managing my weddings and not having to do that. And so, you know, there was a lot of soul searching and kind of in the last couple of months in talking with dorothy about that, about like, you know, it really is easy when it's just me and, and, and when you, you know, when you bring on other teams and you know, obviously they're managing things but you still need to kind of be accountable and help kind of figure that out. And so it's, it's tough and I think it is something that like every vendor kind of like balances and kind of juggles and it's, it's tough to kind of figure out what is best. But yeah, I think like when people come into your life like a good time and kind of like it works out and pans out, right?
Yeah. And sometimes when you're not even expecting that person that you'll just get a random email saying, hey, I'm looking to, you know, are you taking in interns? And sometimes I'm like, oh, I really don't want to take interns anymore. You know, I love, I've loved the interns I've had. But sometimes, you know, maybe you don't get the best fit or they, and I always tell, I said, hey, make this internship into what you want. And it can always lead to more because that's where everybody starts and you know, some will realize like, oh, this is not what I expected at all. Um, but I think it comes down to trust. And I think that's a hard thing for me too, just because this is my baby essentially my third child and you need to make sure that whoever you bring on your team is not only going to represent your company but the wedding industry because we're such a tight knit community that if something happens, it gets around. So you want to make sure you build that team that you can trust. And if something happens, you can call that team member to step in or just be there for you whether you need help or just need advice.
Before I let you go today, I want to pick your brain just a little bit. I, you have such a wealth of knowledge and so many weddings. Um, what are, what are some common problems or pitfalls you see like couples encounter as they go through you that like you wish people knew or like kind of little things like that you see people do wrong that could be done a little easier or different problems that you see?
Um, I think first off is budget is figuring out what you want to spend realistically. Not that Oh I want x, Y and Z, but I don't want to pay for it. So I think it's having a realistic budget and getting all those players into it. Because, you know, back when I got married it was 100 percent response once they respond to but traditional that the bride's parents pay for everything. Whereas now average age of brides and grooms are a lot different than when I got married at 23 years old. Most of our clients now are in their late twenties, early thirties, which is a vast difference from when we started. I mean you're so it's figuring out our parents financially contributing at all. Or they could write an actually contributing everything to the wedding and playing a part of, do they have a say in the decision making sense?
They are writing the checks. So that's always my biggest question is what do you want to spent, what are your priorities that you want us to put money into it? Is it chairs, is it linens, is it flowers, is it having a videographer? So I think budget for me as number one. Um, and also setting realistic goals for yourself that do you want to have a wedding at an upscale Seattle hotel? Or do you want to do it at a rustic barn and the time of year. So I think it all comes down to is seeking out advice and help and whether you're not sure if you want to hire a wedding planner, go talk to somebody because I think, you know, all the wedding planners I've had great relationships with in the Seattle wedding community. We're all a wealth of knowledge and just seeking out help and saying, you know, I didn't really think we needed help, but I now realizing all's involved in wedding planning because everybody leads a busy life and besides working and a lot of my clients are getting their masters on the sides and going to school, they don't have a lot of time for wedding planning and especially if they're like, oh, we're getting married in six months.
And I'm like, okay, you're getting married in August and you don't have a venue and you want to get married on a Saturday. And I don't. And I've learned that over the years too, is I don't sugarcoat things. I don't want to waste your time, my time, my vendors time. And you know, if you're like, oh yeah, we want to get married Saturday, August, 24th. I'm like, great, what's your venue? What? We don't have one. Okay. Then you're really going to need to start looking into those alternative venues. Or maybe you're getting married in grandma and grandpa's backyard or at a park just because you know, wedding venues or booking up a year or two in advance. I've even seen that they're now opening the book for Twenty Slash Twenty one, which I don't even want to think about that. So I think seeking out a professional that can help in at least figuring out, do you need help?
At the end of the day, I feel like all couples need to at least have somebody there on the day off, whether they hire a day of planner just to come in and kind of tie up the loose ends, take care of everything. Or if you're going to hire a full time planner that really plans your whole wedding, takes your vision from your pinterest board, your mood board, inspirational board, and makes it an executes it. So because you don't want. At the end of the day, you don't want to be setting up your own wedding. You want to enjoy your. I was telling my couples, literally, you wake up in the morning, you blink and your day's over and the amount of the money that you're spending on your day, you want to enjoy it, and when you can bring in those professionals that can make your day what you want and you could enjoy your day. That's gonna be the biggest investment of your wedding budget.
Uh, yeah. It's funny. My favorite thing at the wedding show that we do and not favorite thing really is when you talked to a couple of, and we always ask like, oh hi. You know, congratulations, you know, like, oh, what's your day? Oh, you know, whatever. Oh, do you have a venue? Oh No. And I'm like, you don't, you don't have a date until you have a venue and, and there's a lot of other, you know, you can get a different florist if you need to or videographer, whatever. But like you do not have a date until you have a venue. Exactly. It doesn't matter, you know, unless like you said, unless it's like a family member or a property or something that you know you have locked down, but like you do really need to like be honest about that and kind of figuring that out.
The other thing just in to talk about the blink of an eye real quick, I just did a video testimonial with one of my couples from April and that was like, he a tailored the groom say time and time again. He's like everybody tells you, you know, it's going to go by and such a flash and he's like, and then it does. And like I don't know why we didn't think that because everybody told us for the year we were planning like it's going to go by fast, it's going to grow my fast and then it did go by fast and we're so glad that like, you know, they have everything in place. I'm also, just to wrap this up, I, yeah, I do think that like just nowadays with people being so busy, like with, you know, continuing education or jobs and things like there is a lot more demand for like wedding planning and then kind of that assistance throughout the process. I mean people are just so busy nowadays and even they were like 10, 15 years.
Oh by far it's, it's, it's crazy wellness. I think too, the amount of business travel, a lot of my clients are traveling all the time to try to nail him down and that's why I thank God we have email and I can get email on my phone just because sometimes that is the easiest form. I can nail somebody down on a decision or like hey, I'm sending you a and B, pick which one you want or like, Hey, send me your vendor contracts. So let me take a look so we can get that nailed nailed down. But I think too is making time. Wedding planning shouldn't consume your life. Make time saying, okay, what are your parties? What do we need to get done? Obviously, like you said, getting that venue and the date is number one first and foremost, because other than that you have nothing.
So I think really prioritizing your time, looking at your schedule and saying, okay, what can I commit to planning this wedding? And I've even had couples that just said, look, we thought we were gonna get married this year. There's just no way with our schedules, family life that they've pushed their wedding to the next year and then they're like, that was the best thing we could've done because we got to enjoy the process. We didn't feel like we were stressed and nobody wants to be stressed because the biggest argument couples get into over weddings is finances and that leads to everything else. Because when you don't know what to expect, like, oh, I didn't expect that I'm gonna have to spend 3000, $5,000 on flowers or I have to bring in my own linens or I have to do this, this and this. That causes stressors in life. And so I think too is it's finding that balance and I think at the end of the day everything comes down to finding that healthy balance. What works, what works for you is not gonna work for everybody, but finding what works for you and your partner.
Perfect. Uh, well I think, uh, you were associate wealth of knowledge. I think we could continue this for, for many, many hours. And I want to thank you again so much for coming in, you know, on a Sunday and making time to do this. I really appreciate it. I think it was a great interview. If people want to learn more about you and your team and your company and what you guys do, what would you have them check out?
Check out our website. We are www.elegantaffairswa.com. We're also on Instagram, Facebook, same handle, ElegantAffairsWa or or EAffairsWa.
And I will say one of the joys of my life is following your story on Instagram and seeing all the differentiated against that you and your family and everybody gets into. So I would at least plug that and say that that is definitely worthwhile to kind of get in a more in depth look into kind of you and in your life and what makes you tick.
My crazy, uh, being a sports mom and the yelling at wrestling matches. Yeah, that's me. So if you want to see what your wedding planner really does on her free time, check me on Tuesdays and Thursdays at wrestling matches and that's, that's fun time so you can see my real personality there.
Perfect. Well thank you again. This has been another episode of Get to Know Your Wedding Pro. Check back next week for another wedding vendor interview. Thank you so much.