So much for joining us early on a Sunday and kind of doing this emergency Best Made Weddings podcast. I had a wonderful catering discussion with with Act 3 Catering and Tuxedos and Tennis Shoes and Chef Navi that we were going to post tomorrow. And obviously that's blown out the window now with all this, you know, no receptions and weddings. So I just kind of wanted to get everybody together. I know Kelly and I were talking about this on Thursday, right after it happened. And I said, Hey, let's get just some good voices together and get kind of a conversation going about how people are processing the news. If you guys have heard from your clients and then kind of, you know, some ideas and we'll get into all of that too. So Shiloh, why don't we just start with you? Why don't you introduce yourself and tell us who you are.
I'm Shiloh Abbott. I am the owner and lead planner of The Bubbly Soiree.
And Callie and Callie. What about you?
Hey, I'm Callie with Holcomb Weddings and Event. I'm out of Tacoma
And Kellie. Who's responsible for getting this whole thing together. Who are you?
My name is Kellie Blair and your response will not be, I am the manager of Historic 1625 an event venue and Tacoma.
Why don't we just start with you? Obviously we were kind of texting realtime on Thursday. This is obviously in response to the, you know, updated regulations about the governor Inslee saying, you know, no, no wedding receptions severely limiting the number of guests and everything. So what was kind of your reaction hearing that real time and what was, what was kind of that process like?
Yeah, I mean, I had gotten word kind of early in the week that there was going to be, you know, [inaudible] announcement on Thursday, if something important wedding related didn't really know to the extent of what it was going to be. And I think when I just got, I mean, obviously I was just mentally prepared for a limiting number. I think just tailoring it back because I felt his initial allowance was pretty generous in what was allowed but seeing kind of the coven numbers spike, and then knowing what we were allowed to do, I was mentally prepared to take her. But I think there was actually like, obviously a shock value in, you know, it says no reception, 30 people only it's like, great. That puts us out like 25 guests and maybe a few people working and that's that and totally changed the world. So I think Thursday night I feel like I got slapped in the face punched and like got kicked a few times. It was one of those days I opened a bottle of wine for dinner, but I think I was just kind of like shocked and just kind of numb and kind of processed it and now digesting it. Now what's our game plan is kind of where I'm at right now.
Yeah. Kelly, what about you?
Well we, like I said, like Kelly knows, we kinda were like waiting for something to happen and it was hard. I mean, here's the thing we're watching this all happen and my phone is blowing up right here. Just next to like with brides are like, what do we do? What do we do? What did we do? And especially with a couple who has a wedding on the 7th of August that was completely planned. And now it's, you know, now we're essentially changing game plans again. And, you know, that's just one of our many clients, but, you know, I think that like part of this is dealing with the process of the change. And I think that a lot of these couples, like we've all kind of gone through, you know, this, you know, it's almost like, I don't know, like seven months or what is it, grief, whatever the whole, you know, there's seven stages of grief, whatever it is, whatever.
But like, I feel like our couples also need to like go through that process in order to like shift. And so like the conversations we had on Thursday are totally different than the conversations that we had with like even yesterday and this morning, it's like, they finally need to like process it. And I just think like all of us, we all need to process it too. But yeah, it was, I mean, we were kind of expecting it, but I think that the fact that they're like no reception really put like the kind of a dagger into the whole piece too.
It, it felt like a, a big like, okay there, you like that kind of finalizes a lot of stuff and it's, you know, again what the gal said, like we knew that something was coming, we just didn't expect it to be that it's just, it's just so devastating. It just felt like a big blow. And I mean, just like Kelly said, like conversations that I had with, I had an August 8th wedding, it was all planned out. We had literally the day before just finalized everything. I had my waivers in place ready to go do everything by the book. And then boom, you know, two days ahead of it is when everything stops. So it's like, what do you do? You just go into damage control, you start figuring out what the best alternative to be would be if there is one you're trying to process what exactly the all means and lots of emotions.
Yeah. I think it's, it's so hard to just because I think a lot, well, at least I know I had, you know, may have blown out June, blown out, July blown out, you know, except for kind of limited engagements, but you know, are kind of mid August on couples really were holding pretty firm email. And our one, like on the 15th, I think I was telling Kelly, you know, when all this, when we were texting, you know, like booked year and a half ago, paid in full, like never a waiver at all, you know, like a waiver of this is going to happen. And now you're like you know, what are we going to do? Right. And so I do think that it's like where it's, it's such in the heart of the season now, where I do think that people really thought we would have something else at this point is, is really tough. What, what kinds of conversations have you guys been having with your clients? Shallow, we'll start with you and circle back around to me. I know I'm sure you guys have had a myriad of, you know, different talks, but what is the general consensus or vibe?
I immediately had a couple of councils that were just like, forget it. We're going to next year. We're not dealing with this. I've had lots of conversations with the August 8th couple they've ended up canceling that altogether. They're looking at possibly eloping. There's just, I think that they're so overwhelmed with everything that they just can't even think about trying to do. Cause they were going to be out of town. So, you know, they're talking about living at closer and you just go through all of these different things. And it's like, I think that some people are still processing it. I have a couple who lives out of town that they were in town this week. And I talked to them before the announcement and then after, and it's like, they're like, we can't even process this until we get home. So it's just, everyone has their own process. Everyone has different situations with whatever family's coming into town or whether they want to just go in and do a small ceremony at this point. It's it's on a case by case basis.
I would say that I'm like same Shiloh like that, where I have a lot of clients that are like, I'll talk to you next week and I'm like, go for it. Like have the time to sit through it, talk through it, feel it out and make a decision that's right for you. And then I have had three or four this morning and over the weekend that are like, so we're going next year. Okay. Let's do it. So, you know, and, and for us, I tell I'm like, I'm letting all her clients, like we're here for you no matter what, really no wrong way to do any of this. I mean, other than have a reception now he can't do that. But you know, the decisions that they're going to make, it's like you can either have a small intimate ceremony. Now you can have a secret ceremony now and then have a big, huge party next year.
Or you can just say, pour go the whole thing and get married next year. I mean, I think what we're finding with a lot of our clients is that a lot of the reasons they're getting their grade this year have a lot to do with, you know, the next steps of their life. They want to have babies. They want to buy homes. They want to finish school. They like, there's a lot of things that like each of our couples are going through. And I think that like deciding what's best for them this time and giving them the space to do that and saying like, Hey, here's some options. You don't need to make a decision today. But like, just like, you know, like here's some options for you now and we're here to support you, whatever that means. And so, you know, I think that a lot of our clients are just, they it's an emotional time and just hearing a couple options that might sound maybe not ideal at the time, but as they go through it and I feel like it helps them,
Kelly, I'm sure you were fielding a lot of calls you know, historic boats, you know, Thursday night and Friday, and I'm sure, you know, continuing to get emails and stuff. What, what's it kind of been for you guys?
Yeah. So we, with every announcement we try and touch base with those impacted and essentially Thursday, I just kind of took that night to just kind of pass us things. I touched base with, you know, August couples got on the phone immediately with one of our couples who had already postponed for may. They weren't gung ho ready for late August and had Thursday morning just emailed me and said, Hey, you know, we touched base with our whole guest list. We have 85 people coming. Like we want to do this. And then I had to call them and be like, well, your decision has been made for you. Unfortunately like just an emotionally draining conversation. But trying to really get ahead of it. I have at the time this airs I'll have touch base with every single 20, 20 couple. And just picking up the phone and emailing, Hey, let's chat, what's going on just to kind of feel out where everyone's at.
And there's really the spectrum. I mean, I always like have to process the news of the announcement and then have to process like great. Now I have to have these 50 phone calls and these 50 conversations that usually aren't that exciting and that fun. But I think our couples are kind of all over the place. You know, some are wanting to postpone six months, year out, something like that, but there's also couples who like still want to plan as normal for the fall. And like think at some point we're gonna be able to have a reception and those conversations are always hard because, I mean, I think I've been very hopeful during this. And if you had told me, like, we're not going to have a 20, 20 wedding season back in February, March, I would have been like, you're crazy. I will have lost my mind.
Like that's insane. And I just try to have, you know, talk to these couples and be like, I don't think your October wedding is going to happen with 2200 people in reception. Like I hate to say that and I would love if we could. So there's kind of a spectrum. I would say a lot of people for the fall are taking their time to just process it, to talk to friends and family, to figure out what they want to do. A lot of people are just kind of holding off to make a decision because there's no rush and they want to wait this out, but people are kind of all over. I mean, it's not fun having those conversations, but it's also, I mean, I think the silver, I was trying to find a silver lining. I think the silver lining of COBIT is I've gotten to know a lot of our couples this year more than nine normally would have as a venue.
We're not overly hands on. We're more hands on than some venues, but I really have like personal like relationships with a lot of these couples, which is my little silver lining, but I hate having to have this. I mean, knowing I dread it, like it's not fun, kind of talking and being like, you know, the state of drain of your whole life is not happening, how you thought, and here's your options since not a great option, but you know, 30 people ceremony only is not great, but how can we get you the day that you've been wanting?
Yeah, it's so hard. Cause I was, I was totally guilty with that too. I mean, I remember back we had, right when this all started, we had one of our Memorial day wedding couples, you know, she was messaging me about stuff and I'm like, you're I we're good. We good. Like, we'll be, you know, I was like, and the may like will be totally fine. And I remember even talking with Allen Chitlin, who's been on the podcast, a DJ, you know, and he says, I just remember back him saying like, you know, if we're if we're still having these conversations in August, you know, the country will be in really terrible shape if this is like still a thing, but it is, and we are. And so it is kind of, you know, yeah, it is. So in thinking about how they're kind of framed this conversation today, you know, I know that there's going to be a lot more regulations to come out, you know, tomorrow or clarification.
So I don't want to incredibly date anything. So, you know, I wanted to talk about, you know, things that we know and things that hopefully will be you know, still acceptable, you know, we were before we started recording, you know, I don't like the idea of looking at some of these regulations and trying to find things that are, you know, outside of, you know, like nitpicking something in it. You know, I like to look at these things as kind of the spirit of you know, whatever they're trying to get across. And I do in talking with Dorothy yesterday. I think having, you know, 30 people at a ceremony is very different than having 30 people at the reception. As much as people don't want to, you know, couples or whoever don't want to hear that, like it is different. And I equated it to Dorothy that if there's a, if someone's giving the toast to the reception and I, as the videographer have to go up and like adjust the microphone, that might be like a little odd, but you would be like, okay, like we're all kind of, we're trying to get the best thing we can if I walked up in the middle of a ceremony and try to like fill it with the priest microphone or whatever, that would be like a really odd thing because of like the sanctity and just kind of like everyone being in place and how it is.
So I think that's kinda my thought process behind it. I know Kelly, when you were talking about giving a couple of some options and things you guys are working through, whether some of those things that you guys have been talking about.
Yeah. well, a lot of what, basically we're just giving the options to the clients to say like, you know what, and asking the questions first what's important, you know, is the party important? Is the ceremony important and like really trying to pinpoint, or is the overall day important, like really trying to figure that help them sort of process even what they think is the most important part. And then, you know, going from there, you know, if dancing at your wedding is a really big deal to you, which a lot of my couples, I mean girls and guys and moms and dads, and that's a big part of the tradition of a wedding for a lot of couples and a lot of families. And if you can't have that at your wedding, it really puts like a really like, that's not real. I mean, of course you have a ceremony, everything, but like the party's not there and the anticipation and excitement out there.
So in that case, I'm recommending like let's push, let's push off for a whole nother year, you know, let's, you know, let's have they'd party next year. Let's have the, if it's important for you to have a ceremony this year and for you to be married in 2020, for whatever reason, let's have a ceremony this year and push off the party the next year. For some couples, honestly, I have quite a few couples that are like the guy or girls, like I wanted a backyard wedding to begin with. And I'm really having all the pressure to have this huge party. And this is like a blessing in disguise because I get to actually have the really intimate ceremony that I really, really wanted without all the mumbo jumbo and everything. And in that case, I'm letting couples, I'm like, let's alone, let's have that 30% that ceremony let's let you walk down the aisle, let it be really intimate and amazing. So, you know, for us, it's just trying to figure out, cause all of our couples are different. All of our families are different and it's just helping them navigate what they really want and helping them get to that next point. So
That's good. It's a shallow, what about you?
Same kind of thing. It's totally a case by case basis. The people who have wanted to postpone have done it because they can't have the ceremony for the ceremony and wedding that they've always envisioned. And so it just makes sense to push things off to next year. There are still people who want both, so they'll possibly do a small ceremony, which, I mean, I guess we have to be happy that that still allows. So you know, they'll do that with their closest family and friends and then you know there'll be married, so they'll get that done. You know, and then they can move on. And I think a big part is that, that people, these couples have been waiting so long and they've gone through so many emotions to get to this point that having Thursday's announcement was just kind of like, okay, we're either doing this or we're not, and if we're doing it, this is what it's going to be like, no more questions just let's pick away, pick something to do. And so I think that that in a way is helping people, but it's just hard. So they're all just trying to figure it out and we're there to help them with whatever.
Yeah. I mean, certainly, yeah, certainly the thoughts go with everyone. I mean, that's what I've said all along with, I just feel so bad. You know, I remember planning a wedding and it was hard enough and now it's like, like, you know, let alone dealing with all this Kelly. I know that you guys have talked about doing some, you know, smaller, low bins and things at the, at the venue. Are you guys, how are the conversations going? Are you trying to you know, still be accommodating for people and what they, what they can do right now? Or how are those conversations or are you still, and you can certainly still be building that stuff out, right?
Yeah. I mean, we're still working on kind of how we want to pivot our business and what's going to be our game plan for kind of the rest of the year. But in talking with couples, you know, a lot of them are looking at themselves and kind of just understanding why they're getting married and kind of looking at it like we want to get married because of, you know, the marriage, the commitment, that part. And there's a lot of those couples who are like one, want to get married, like the party, not as important, it's important. They want to celebrate with their friends and family, but like they want to be able to make that commitment to each other. And we've always during the school time, like offered in our postponement options, kind of like a complimentary small ceremony. And so we do have, you know, a few couples who are wanting to, you know, Tylenol now and then celebrate later.
And so it's something that we've kind of been talking about for a while. Just never really had to cement the details because, you know, we weren't really in the world of doing, but now that's the only world we're in is doing those small ceremonies. And so we're definitely working on options just to be able to release. And I'm excited to be able to celebrate with those who want to celebrate. We get, since this whole Kogan nonsense started, we haven't had a wedding since March 13th. That was our last one. And we get one under the radar, August 2nd. So during all of this, all the changes and everything, we're just gonna get one wedding in and it's crazy to look. I mean, our calendar is whited out. Why did out, why did out there's names that have been in there since the spring, then now the fall and now, you know, disappearing. But we aren't being, we're trying to just still, I think, process the emotions in those conversations with clients before we can think about ourselves kind of playing the therapists punching bag role, and that comes with the industry, but yeah, we were working on it and we have some small ceremonies coming up with some clients. So it'll be exciting to just have something to celebrate, see them kind of a little shining light during all of this. So it will be exciting to kind of make that happen.
Yeah. It's, it's tough with the, you know, the two week, you know, the, whatever they call it, the mortar or the, whether the grace period, whatever. And it's, you know, it, it ends right before like eight eight, which is, you know, one of the sponsors. Yeah.
You already lost six, six that way. Eight out of 10, 10. Yeah,
I know. Yeah. And it is, it's, it's getting to the point. Yeah. We're, you know, I guess I look at my own calendar and you know, it's like every day, then September, October, November, that everyone's like pushed stuff too. And now it is scary to think of if it's, you know, how long it's going to continue. And obviously, you know, we don't want to like fear and speculate, but it is, it is worrisome to wonder how long, you know, the reception bands is, is going to go. What do you guys thinking about trying to incorporate some other details and things into it, you know, the ceremony, or I know there's been some posts about, you know, maybe doing like readings, but having to be some sort of toasts and things to make it feel like it's a little bit more including some of those things. Have you guys seen any of those posts that I've seen, have you thought about any of that stuff? Just trying to give, you know, a couples planning, like tangible ideas that they can that they can work with, you know, to, to build out their ceremony a little bit more Kelly you're nodding, have you, have you seen any of that?
I have, yeah. I've heard talks of it and seen it, I think, and also have those conversations with some clients. I think some people are, you know, we're wanting the intimate, the small little ceremony. They still want the wedding day experience or want to be able to look back and have those photo moments, I guess. And so some people are, you know, chatting about doing, instead of like the ceremonial, like unity candle, you know, coming together and cutting the cake cause that's, you know, symbolic, you know, the same thing of sorts. And some of them just want, you know, you know, we want to kind of cake and have a cute little cake and, or doing toast or hearing from friends and family. So I'm having those conversations. It's just hard to kind of play with the gray area. Think about, you know, loopholes devil's advocate when we don't really have solidified details of what's allowed.
What's not. And so it's kind of just, what if conversations are doing meals to go or how do you still have, you know, a wedding day experience within a ceremony only limit. So I'm seeing those posts, I'm having those conversations kind of seeing what other people do and just kind of curious to see what's gonna be allowed and what's not, and kind of we're creative in this industry. So we're going to get creative with no matter what, but how is it being creative within what's allowed versus being creative and doing something that we know we're not supposed to do and trying to justify it. So I think that's kind of a struggle right now.
Yeah. Kelly, whether about USA, you kind of nodded.
Yeah. I mean, we're, I'm having a lot of, out of the box ideas coming out. And I think that that's like, you know, I feel like our industry, you know, it's a very traditional and we have a very systemized way of things, you know, and that people know. And I think that like part of this is just saying like, okay, what can we do within the restrictions and how can we still make this amazing? And I mean, I even had a bride say, she's getting married on 10, 10. And she's like, well, let's just finalize it. And she may or may not. But you know, the option is like, what if we got married at the Starbucks that we had our first date? Like, what if it's just the two of them and the officiant and like, everyone's just standing around with coffee. And I know it sounds like really funky and weird, but like, these are like little things that are like kinda funky.
I'm like, is it even possible? Can we do that? I don't know. But like, that's kind of a fun thing to do. And it is that moment and it is their day. And so it's like, how can we create something that's more, more than maybe is outside the box. But like, even for us, like we put together in a little bit package right now just to help all these couples and we're partnering with venues and we're just doing a, you know, and cause there's a lot of couples that they don't want to think about anything at this point. They're like, I want to get married to the love of my life and we can have up to 30 people here. It is. Here's, you know, photographer, here's the music here's flowers get married. And then, you know, from that point on they're, they're up to do whatever they're gonna do.
But but for us, it's just, you know, we're just creating some fun things that I do think I love the idea of like having, you know, like a cake cutting instead of a sand ceremony. Like I think that's so fun. And like, those are things that's important to you to have a cake cutting thing. Let's just do it, you know, or maybe you spend that bread down the aisle or as you walk down and that's your first dance is that you, you dance your way back down the aisle. So, you know, kind of putting some of those things in place.
Yeah, I mean, I've been talking to clients about figuring out how we can work in the cake, cutting during the ceremony and things like that. You're having conversations about like, okay, if we're going to do this in the backyard, let's, you know, you don't need the basic, like white resin chairs, like let's rent some cool sofas for people to sit in and have it be like a fun garden party type thing, you know, just, just changing it up and elevating your traditionally, you know, your traditional views on what a wedding looks like and thinking of different ideas as to how to change it out with a little bit. And I think that that's, that's my silver lining and try to look at all this is that we're becoming more creative and having to think outside the box for ceremonies and weddings in general and just looking at like, okay, well, if we can't do this, what else can we do? And that kind of thing. And so I think that's nice. Same thing. I think that allotments are great. I think that the more that you can package them together and let these poor couples not have to worry or think about anything, just like go on and get married. Cause they've already worried so much through this year that let's make it easy for them. So yeah.
Yeah, no, I agree. I think I love the idea of, you know, the creativity and really trying to figure out what's important within the rules. Right. I think that, that, you know, whatever my advice would be, you know, for anybody, you know, trying to get married still. Any of, any of the weddings we've been livestreaming, a ton of weddings since kind of all this has gone on and all of the ceremonies that we've done have been safe within the rules, all that stuff. And the I'm trying to think the two actual like reception receptions we'd done were unsafe. Right. And they were outside of you know, now what would be allowed. And that's probably because of, you know, receptions like I did. And we had a photographer round table a couple of weeks ago. And they talked a lot about the receptions that they did, you know, and, and they weren't safe.
Right. And this is probably why this happened. Right. You know, where it's, it's not, you know, these decisions aren't like arbitrary where it's like, well, I think like I do agree with a lot of what the rules are because that, that is what I saw. And that is what every vendor that I've talked to on this podcast for the last nine weeks has said is that you know, ceremonies were safe and, and, and that when a lot of time and care was placed into that, and the receptions were not as much as good, you know, as much as the couples have good will and intention, you know, I don't think anyone tries to go out whatever and, you know, break the rules. But yeah. So I love the idea of having the creativity and really just downsizing that to what is so important and just like getting it done and feeling like you're done with it and you can move on.
And, and yeah, I totally agree. Go, go get married at the Starbucks and, and do that. I mean, I think that that's great or, you know, have a, having the weldment and keep it really small. Kelly, I know that you attended a wedding that was like a zoom wedding. And I, we, we did we do the live streams. We actually did a, a zoom wedding yesterday with this company called web fully. Which if anyone, I would honestly recommend them. It was a really good experience there. I think they're based out of Denver, but they kind of coordinate like bringing in your guests and like putting together a slideshow and putting together a video and like breakout rooms. And it's like a whole thing. It's not like you're just watching whatever Kelly, what was your experience with that for people that still want to do a wedding and have it be safe and still incorporate you know, friends and family that way.
Yeah. So I, my cousin got married like back in April, maybe in New York and it was important to him and his wife time, he just needed to, it was a little bit more urgent wise, not necessarily COVID just time was of the essence. And I'm getting married in the Catholic church was important. So they had no very small wedding. It was my cousin Connor and then his now wife, just her family was there, you know, parents and siblings and then the priest and the two of them. And so the church did like a live YouTube of the ceremony, which was really nice. So we got that live streaming. We all could watch that on our own. And then they had emailed out a zoom link. So we all, you know, hopped into a zoom room. There's like a hundred, I don't know, a ton of us.
And it was really fun. So we kind of all got on there and just kind of chatted with each other. And then my uncle that it's, and there's a communal website that we can all be a part of. And so there's different activities on there, like making one of those like graphics where you all kinda describe a word and then like the ones that get put in the most kind of get bigger. I don't know what they're called. So we got one of those and then they got it printed and framed as like a present for the couple. And then my uncle essentially served as kind of the MC DJ of the evening. And you know, he called out people and we did toast, you know, toast here and there and everything was recorded. So they have that. And then we did dancing. So, you know, all got up in our living wherever we were and, you know, did the YMCA, did some of those fun dances?
And then at one point you know, the couple have made the grand entrance. So after they had, you know, signed the papers and kind of celebrated, they then hopped on the zoom and did an entrance. And back in time, I was like, Oh God, like, is this going to be the norm or what's expected, but it was really cool. I think that there's a way to be able to have your intimate ceremony, but still be able to celebrate with your friends and family from a distance. And that's just a part of the whole pivoting and being creative and how do we still do things? And so, I mean, shout out to my uncle Mike, because this was like a really fun wedding wedding. Yeah. Back in April or whatnot, and we could do it, you know, yoga pants and nice top and patter mimosas and all cheers. It was, it was fun. But looking back, I was like, uncle Mike, I think you've got to have an idea. You should, you know, get going on this. And, but it's fun. And I think it's, I've talked through that with some couples and that's something that they're going to run with. So it's nice that there are options because it's important to celebrate with people who've supported you and you want to make them a part of your day. But right now it's just, you know, trying times and figuring out how to do it.
Yeah. I though we had talked about it when you and I, I am a little bit of a cynic and I'll also admit when I was wrong, you know, when I'm wrong in the past. And I remember you were telling me about that and I think I laughed. And then even when they, when this couple hired me and I looked, I'm like, what is this site? And I look at the site and I saw the video and they put together like a five minute thing, like yo zoom wedding. And this is what you can do. And like, they were showing people like dancing. I'm like, this is just, this is all BS, right? Like there's no way, like, this is so dumb. Like no one would ever do this.
You have to buy into, I mean, at first I was like, Oh God, this is so awkward up. And do the Y YMCA at 11:00 AM, come on through a whole Catholic mass
Yesterday. They were, they were Italian. So all their family was in Venice and they have like 40 computers on the call and they did their first dance. And by God, all those freaking people got up and they're all dancing in like their living rooms and, you know, wherever the hell and, and, you know, eight, it was like eight at night, you know, cause we did it like in the morning with the time change and everything. But I mean even the, the Carolyn or whoever the girl was that was you know, my like tech person for the day, she's like, wow, like that was like really cool. And I was like, wow, I never, you can, I wouldn't have given a thousand dollars and thought that that would have happened when we were booking that. So I will say you know, that I, there was definitely something that I recommend have Kelly and Chella. Have you guys had any experience with virtual stuff yet? Or have you had any talks with anybody about that? Do you think you might
Not? I wouldn't say anybody yet. I like, I'm kind of watching that happen, but I will say that now I think people are becoming more curious as to that next step, you know, they never, and so I think that having it available right now, it's great. Cause it's like, let's offer it. I think it's, I think it's fun. I think it's a great idea. I think that it's something that is definitely worth looking into, especially with people living out of the country or across the country or anything like that, then it really brings people in this one school.
Are you guys worried about and maybe shall we can start with you, are you guys worried about, I know I had a couple of weddings. We were getting ready to book. Just, you know, we had the ADA, we were talking to cause we've, you know, however many we've lost on that day and a couple others. And they were like, Hey, if it, if we can't do it, like we're not postponing. We're just like, we're not doing it. Like we're just pulling the plug. Like it's been too much. Are you guys, have you heard that? Are you worried about that? Just a couple of just being like, you know what, like FL like I just can't, it's just too much because I get it right. I mean, I totally get it if I just be too much, if you have you had any of those talks yet?
I actually yeah, I've had a lot of them throughout this entire thing. Starting with 4th of July, a couple all the way up to, you know, now they're just people who had long time ago, who just as soon as covert hit, they were like, Nope, they waited for the end of may to make a decision when he was supposed to change things and open things up. But yeah, a lot of people just can't even, they haven't been able to just think about it. And so they just flat out canceled. And then even couples that I booked since beginning COVID who have said, no, we're doing it. This is what we're doing. We are pushing through. And then they just went, Nope, Nope. We're not doing it. We're done.
So it's just, it's again, it's a case by case basis and even couples who are fully ready to do everything, they were ready to wear the masks. We had talked about, you know, what to do during dinner, what to do during their cocktail hour, they were going to do trivia with all their tables sitting down. And I mean, they were ready. They're ready to go. And then as soon as Thursday hit, they were like, Nope, we're moving. Okay. So you just never know the people that you think are going to stick with. It just never know. It's always evolving.
Kelly, what about you? Have you had some of those talks? I know they're hard.
Yeah. I mean, I, I, you know, right when this whole COVID thing had, I had three or four clients that are like, forget it. We're just going to a low on the day of our wedding. We're not even having the ceremony, which was so, you know, kind of going into that. And then now that like things have shifted even more. I've had a couple that are like, yep, we're staying hard to it. And some that are like, we already got married, we just said, forget it. We're done. Like, that was it. And I said, okay, you know, and like, no, teacher's own again, case by case basis. But it is surprising to watch the ones that are like that. You're like, Oh, okay. And then the ones that you think we're going to hold on are gone. And the ones that you're like, no, they're going to be done. They're the ones holding on the artist now. So it just changes every day.
Yeah. Kelly, what about you? Any of those hard talks?
Yeah, same obviously the same. I think it's a little different just as a venue wise. It's with us plans changes their need for us changes, I guess, too. A lot of people are, I would say majority of them are holding out hope and wanting to still celebrate at some point, it's just kind of figuring out when that timing's going to be in the world. But some are still doing smaller ceremonies. And with us offering the option to a small ceremony, there are a lot of them are grateful that great it's all planned. We have somewhere to go because I think some people are just sick of thinking, sick of making decisions, sick of doing everything. And so I think probably less as a quote conversations then Kelly and Shiloh, just because, I mean, we're just the venue part. So they're going to be with us or they're not, but most are holding on.
I think Kelly is how do I close
Technical technical here I am here. I need some gum.
Yeah. I'm going to mute Kelly for a second there. No, but like she was saying Kelly was saying about, you know, finding out that the couples you know, ended up getting or whatever. It's so hard. And I was going to mention earlier when you guys, you know, Kelly was talking about, you know, reaching out to all the 20, 20 couples and whatever, that would be my biggest advice of, you know, anybody getting married and then any vendor at all is making sure you email everybody. And I know that that's hard and I know that that's scary sometimes because I do think I've talked with a lot of photographers and I think it's kind of this head in the sand, like, well, if I don't email them, then they're not going to cancel. Cause they don't like, I don't know. It just seems like it's a weird, like you're afraid.
Right? And you're like, well, if I email them, then that's going to spook them and then they're going to whatever. And it's like, you can't, I don't know. Like as soon as that Thursday thing happened, like, you know, Dorothy and I walked and then came back and I said, you know, I crafted whatever. And I got a lot of good response, you know? I mean the same way that my emails back in March and everything. And I think that you know, your couples just want you to know that you're thinking about them. And, but my advice yes would be for couples too, is like, definitely I'm letting people know. You know, if you are thinking about changing the day and like what those dates might be, you know, cause there's nothing worse. I've heard so many vendors say like, Hey, you know, they picked a new date already.
I'm not available. And now, you know, it's like, and they didn't even have like a chance to, you know, move whatever or try to be there. And that's what I've told everybody Shiloh, whether you w what's some advice you're giving couples right now, planning. I mean, I know it's hard. I know there's so many unknowns, but whether you, someone listening, you know, whether it's a vendor or a couple of what would be some advice as to kind of get through everything right now. I mean, I know you've seen a lot of different stuff in your career.
I think that the big thing is to talk with your partner, talk with your family, look at your, your situation with your guests and see what works best, what your plans are for the next year. Figure out what's most important to you. Like Kelly was saying earlier, and it's like, is it to get married? Is it, you know, do you have something life changing happening in the next year? Do you want to have a baby? Do you need, you know, as someone deploying, you know, is there a need to get married? And so let's figure out how to make it a great ceremony if you want to just delay. And if that's easier for you with everything that's going on to postpone and let's do that. So I think it's, it's again, back to the case by case basis. But I think that you need to look at talking to your partner and your families and figure out what's really important for everyone.
I think in like community being open and just having that, I mean, they're not fun conversations. And I think me personally, you know, it says like forthright, I don't know how many rounds that I've had these draining conversations and it wears on you. And I just always feel like I'm disappointing my clients, just having to tell them this news. Like, I feel like I'm the one who's, you know, the bearer of bad news or whatnot. And I think me shifting that mindset has been huge. And I think like advice to vendors is, I mean, knowing this is out of your control, but helping, you know, using our experience, you think all that we know in all our, you know, past weddings, I mean, we're talking industry, we go through a lot and I think this is our time to shine and be there for a couples.
You know, they get one shot at this, but it's something that we typically do every weekend, but just not taking it personally. I know that's way easier said than done. But you know, building that relationship and just being there for them, I think just always in anything in life, knowing that you have someone to reach out, to takes away a lot of the stress. So just being that someone for your couples is huge. And then I think if I started, you know, couples it's just, you know, being patient being, you know, trying to have an open mind, I think it's tough. I think something that we deal with a lot as vendors is we've kind of see a tunnel vision for our clients. It's like, you know, to them, it's that our biggest day of her life. And it's like on our end, we're dealing with a hundred of you.
And I think just telling couples, like just be patient, be understanding but reach out when you can just know, like we're all digesting this too. But I think, I mean, I think this, I think the Kobe couples, the ones who kind of come out are going to be probably some of the strongest marriages that we see. I think they're going to be some of those couples who had time to, you know, look at themselves, look at their relationship with their partner. And really, I think that these marriages are going to be some that probably last longer than others. I think that's going to be something sweet to see and really see them focused on the marriage part. And the other party is important, but I think centering themselves on why they're getting married is something that these couples are going to have to do. And I'm excited to see the, you know, the futures of the couples.
Kelly, are you done with your travel adventures? I'm going to unmute you now, how you were in a different space now what's going on?
No, I had, I had literally had a dog barking at the door and all of a sudden I'm like, Oh my God. I was like, hold on. So sorry about that. I wanted to run into the other room. Yeah, so I'm, I'm back. I would say that like, you know, when I even blending our couples now, I said, and that's the same thing. Like literally letting them know that like, these are the things, this is what marriage is about. And this is not about, this is you're talking about a wedding, but what you're dealing with is like marriage stuff. And that's a lot of our couples. It's like, you have to remember that you're not having, you're having a wedding to get married, to deal, you know, to start a life with somebody. And I think it's like trial by fire. I mean, this is the time that they're either going to, it's like a make or break it thing.
And I mean, I'm married 11 years this year and I'm like, it is challenging enough, you know, for this. And I think that like, if these couples can go through this, now it will just make them stronger as couples. And you know, nobody wants to hear that in the present. Everyone's like, Oh, like I get it. Like, I'm a wedding planner. I want you to have a wedding. But like, you know, like, remember that, like this is a season, this is just a small thing. And you're getting, you're going to look back at this at 50 75, hopefully 75 years of marriage. And you're going to say, remember when we got married in the time of Corona and how crazy it was, and like, it was a blur on the screen. And so I'm trying to help them remember and also, you know, being engaged.
I think a lot of couples forget that being engaged is also part of the process. And it's like, you get to be engaged to each other for a whole nother year and you get to be like, it's, it's like, you're almost extending the honeymoon time. So I would say for me for a couple of hours, just trying to look at it from a really different perspective. I mean, I'm letting my couples have know. I'm like, Oh, that means I get to hang out with you a whole nother year. I'm super excited. Like yay. And then some couples are probably like, okay, I just, you know, I've been, I've been with you for like a year and a half. Like I'm ready to get married even though we're friends. But you know, and then for, you know, for all of us, it's, it's a changing, ever changing topic that we have to remember too, that like it.
And I think for even our couples, like, we're all so human too. Like I left and gone on I've left when this like, not left left, but like I went out of town, which is weird. You can't do this during the wedding season ever at all. And I left just to get my own head on straight because I'm not good for any of my cloud people, couples, if I'm not filling my cup either. So, you know, I think that like re reminding our leg vendors too, like, you gotta take care of you, man. Like take care of you. So I don't know if that answers your question, but
That was good. That was good. Yeah. That was excellent answer. That was sort of thing we're moving from the marketing doc. No, I, I just think like, honestly, with, with everything going on now, if this hasn't been, you know, I think the wake up call of just, we need to adapt our plans to this and not trying to figure out like, well, how can we adapt the plans to like what we want to do? Or how can we, I mean, I just, anybody like planning still, it's like, you need to, like, this needs to be a wake up call now. And if it wasn't before, and I do, I mean, I wasn't, I really wasn't for like all the openings back when, you know, when, and I know that a lot of people pushed for that, and I know that that was obviously what the industry wanted.
But you know, I, you know, I think that because of that, you know, we're in a lot of it, I think it would have been way easier to maintain this going or whatever it been to like open the flood gate and then close it again. And so that is hard, but I do think that and I guess I, I w the last thing I wanted to touch on today was, and I saw someone posts. I can't even remember one of the groups saying how, you know, well, let's wait until next year where we can have like a real wedding or we can do, you know, we can have whatever. And not saying that, you know, having, I know the wedding that we did yesterday, you know, was amazing, you know, it was a real wedding, you know, they're sitting there balling, you know, I know the one that we did last weekend, you know, eight family members, you know, it's all the emotions. And so I guess my final ask for all of you kind of going around, we'll be talking about that. And just making sure that, you know, couples realize that you can still have, you know, as memorable a days you want to have right now, and have it be as special as you want to be a shallow. I see you nodding. So let's go to you first. And, and we'll, we'll crack this off.
I keep going back to weddings, like 50 years ago, not even 50 years ago looked completely different than how they do now. And so it was getting married in the church, going down to the basement or somewhere else for cake and punch. And that was it. And you know, between then and now we've added the dancing, we've added everything else, which is great, but also point is to get married. So however you choose to do that, that is the true meaning of the day is the two of you coming together, get married and become like a couple officially together. And so that's kind of, that's my thought on it right now is that, like, I think that sometimes with the parties is you can lose focus on the actual meaning of the day. And this, this has allowed us to go back and focus more on that. And like the true, like, it's the two of you coming together with your families and your, your most supportive people there to support you, who truly love you and want to see let's make it happen and let's, let's make it amazing for you. So
Kelly, Kelly, that's Kelly, Kelly, let's let's talk about this and the positivity of, of either focusing on the couples and everything else right now.
Yeah, I think I mean, we do hundreds of weddings, you know, and we, when we look back and we try and call it, you know, Sally and Joe's wedding, the details kind of all blur. I think that's just kind of, you know, weddings are weddings. But it's always those wines, like, you know, a handful of weddings always stand out for a certain reason, whether it was like customizing dance party, whether they got really creative with, you know, their food menu or something like that. And I think even as a, you know, working weddings or as wedding guests like weddings, you know, and I think that this podcast, this will be memorable because of Kelly. I think this is really like, couple's time to be different, stand out and just create a memory for not only them, but their friends and family and do something different.
And also be like, remember, you know, Corona, we were stuck in our house for months upon months. We only, you know, we braved the grocery store. We did this, but remember how great it was to celebrate with, you know, Ashley and Adam, like, remember how great that was. I think now it's just the time to not only stand out and create a fond memory, but also like be there for your friends and family and give them a day of just light and excitement in this weird world we're living in. And so like to couples, I think really use this to your advantage and do something with it. You know, you're never going to be, hopefully we're never in this situation ever again, but really just use it and do something different, create a special memory, not only for yourselves, but that was close to you. Personalize it more. Yeah. You get to personalize it more. Yeah. Which is awesome.
Kelly, are you done with your earthquake over there?
I'm telling you I was really prepped for this. I had my, I had it set and ready to go. Like I was ready for this thing. And then I had to move into another room. Yeah, I'm ready to go back and forth. No, maybe for, even for our couples. I mean, I've, we've done so many elopements over the years and so many weddings over the years and the ones that I really remember are the ones I'm telling you read. I don't know. I might not be cut out for podcasts. I'm telling you, but I didn't get my coffee delivery from my sweet husband. Okay. So that, thank you. That was the best intro, like little things. It's about the little things and all of this, and try to remember that, like the little things are what make you a couple and it's not the party.
It's not the thing. And it's like, how can we incorporate those amazing moments of your, you know, our couple's lives into what it is like for my couple, they met at Starbucks and she's like, what have we got a wedding in Starbucks? I'm like, how weird and funky as that. But like the fact that they're first that they created these memories year after year of like going back to their same Starbucks, having the same cup of coffee every single year. And now we're thinking, Hey, this is kind of fun. Like that would be kind of cool. Like I think it's, it is remembering why you're doing it and remit and marrying and inland allowing yourself. And I think a lot of our couples are really allowing themselves to have those things that maybe they didn't think that they could have at their wedding because it didn't fall into the traditional box and saying like, okay, let's, let's do something fun. Let's do something funky. You know? And even for a lot of our couples, maybe they couldn't have their dog part of their ceremony. Cause maybe they're gonna get married in a church. Now they can get married on a beach and their dog can be a part of it. So, you know, trying to look at the silver lining and say, here's what we can do going into this next year.
Yeah. I think I agree with that. I think we need to focus on what we can do and not what we can't do. And I think that it's tough. Like I said, you know, we're all wedding professionals and you know, you want to have everyone have the biggest, you know, wedding and spend the most money and have the best stuff. And it's tough. Right. And I, you know, like, you know, obviously you want everyone to have a wedding video and have, you know, 10 hours of coverage and all this different stuff. And you're like, but you need to focus on what, what we can do and not, you know, limit. What's not going to be, you know I think I don't know. I think everyone's lost a lot of stuff this year and I think there's been a lot of changes, you know, across everything. And so, yeah, I think not being able to have, you know, 300 people at your wedding and in dancing and whatever I think is an okay compromise for everything that everyone has gone through, you know, both professionally and personally and, you know, so that would be kinda my, my last advice for that would just be you know, remember where we're living in and it stuff. So I lost my I lost my whole football league this year and my XFL.
Perfect. We have hockey now we have hockey.
I R I ordered my cracking hat. So it is, it is coming follow me, follow me on Twitter at crack marks. So I got, I got like, but no, I mean, it's tough. So yeah, I think, I think just looking at the positives any final thoughts, any final words, I really appreciate you guys all coming on today. I know it's, it's still a kind of a nebulous time and not really knowing what's happening, but I do think it's just important to keep having these conversations and, and focusing on positivity, which I think all of you guys did today. So I appreciate that. And, and some good ideas Kelly let's you seem to have something to say, so let's, let's start the final Roundup with you.
I always have something to say, right. I think just overall in life and wedding wise right now, I think just focusing on the positive and the silver lining is something that I challenged myself to do every day. And I think that, you know, focusing on what we can do and what we can't do is just going to be, you know, mentality of Corona, the sooner we kind of, you know, all those, you know, what we're supposed to do the sooner we'll get out of this, hopefully. But I mean, I feel for my couples, I tell them all the time, like, I feel for you, I know this isn't easy. Like wedding planning is enough as it is, but to add this as a whole nother, you know, layer of stress. And it's like, I feel bad for them. It's like, you know, as a girl, you dream of your wedding day, your entire life, and it's something you don't think about and having your vision.
And it's like sitting behind computers with your friends and family is not really what your dream come true. And so it's, it's a struggle. Like I feel for every one of my couples and it's, I'm struggling, you know, managing personal and business right now. Just kind of how do I be, you know, the best support when I feel like I'm going crazy, but finding the silver lining, just being hopeful and seeing the light of the tunnel is going to be, you know, a huge mind shift and yeah, that's, I don't know. I really don't have much to say read. That was good.
That was good though. That was a good, I shot a little bit about you.
Yeah. I think finding this silver lining is good. I think that just, you know, taking in everything that you can and just embrace it for what it is, you know, this, this is where we're at and things are always changing. I adore my couples, so I have really become friends with them and we're talking, you know, at least once a week, probably just trying to figure out what to do, coming up with different ideas. And I, my heart goes out to them. It's just, it's been such a rough year. It's been so challenging. It's been so just ups and downs and everything ever evolving. So you know, I, I'm happy that I've been able to get to know them more. But also it's hard. It's hard for everyone. It's hard for the vendors too. I mean, we just we've been pushed around and it just feels it.
I saw someone or did someone on this sake, emotional whiplash, it's just, it's back and forth and it's, you know, the tears coming out and it's just, it's hard to explain. It's just, it's strange, but also, you know, you can't get married, so that's the name of the game. So let's, let's make that happen and let's make it amazing. You can still have fun. You can still get 30 people together and have them support you, which is a decent number. It's not. So, you know, it's more than what phase three allows. So there are positives in this. It's just a matter of finding it and working with it and making it your own
Kelly, you get the big, last, final and words today to lead us off, leave us, you know, with, with your words of wisdom, whether we have
Yeah. You know, like, I mean, you guys all captured it really well. I mean, at the end of the day, like we're giving our couples like the options. I think that they have more options now, you know, then maybe they thought in the previous. So for us, you know, we put together an elopement package that, that we're offering our clients, or even non-clients, you know, to be able to have the beautiful ceremony with everything that they, you know, maybe they want with their 30 friends and, and making it, we're trying to just make it easy for them. I mean, just make it easy and seamless and like effortless. Cause at this point everything's been very effortful. Is that even a word? But so, but like just letting them enjoy at least one moment in time where they can go, come in, show up, look beautiful, take in the moment and not have to work anything.
That's what we're trying to do right now. Now not all of our clients are going to go for that, but you know what, there's quite a few people that are, and we're super excited to help them through that process. And then to continue to work through our 20, 21 clients, either postponed or new clients to, you know, hopefully look forward to the future of a normal wedding season. But knowing that like, we've at least gone through all of this. So now this isn't, if we have to do this again, at least we know how to navigate it at this point. So we're here for them.
Absolutely. Yes. And I will say that the little ceremony we did last week the bride afterward, she said, you know, this was so great. Like it really, I love this because I did not feel the stress of having to deal with all the other stuff. And it was you know, it was a venue where, you know, they postpone and then, but they were doing, you know, like you could use it, you know, for free or whatever. And, but she said, it was great. Like I got to hang out with my husband and we got to kind of do a little first look and then we walked down the aisle and she's like, man, this would have been way crazier. You know, if we have had to deal with all the other stuff. So there, there are several silver line needs. Right. And there are positives to look for.
So I do think, I thought that was great. And I said, there you go, you have the best day ever. And it was two hours and now you're done, you know, so anyway thank you all so much for coming on. And I really appreciate you guys this time, you know, early on the Sunday and, and hopefully this won't be outdated tomorrow when they come out and say, no, no weddings at all. But I do think, yeah, I think, you know, the weddings, the ceremonies are set. I think receptions, I think we're getting into trouble calling them dinners. I think we're getting into trouble calling them, you know, we're going to go across the street and do a gathering. I think we're getting into trouble with those things. So that would be my advice. And I think everyone seems to agree.
Yeah. I think that more trouble we make is that the longer we're going to be stuck in this world. So I think just pausing, putting ourselves in timeout is kind of what we need to do.
Perfect. Well, thank you guys again. And if you're listening, if you have a question for future episodes of the podcast, you can go to www.bestmadevideos.com/survey, And everything's organized by vendor type. You can leave questions and we can put together fun round tables like this one, but thank you guys again. Thanks Kelly for putting this together and good luck everyone navigating with all the, you know, I'm sure there's many more emails and phone calls to come, so